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“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 NLT

So, recently my sister and a few of our friends killed a photo shoot! Side note this was a planned photoshoot for her birthday which was March 9th….Tuh!! Mind your business we were on CP time. In preparation, I ordered a dress and a pair of pants to try and piece an outfit together with some items I already had. I even paid for rushed delivery. My package arrived after a couple days and guess what, the clothes I purchased were too big. I was super pumped because I had been working diligently to lose the weight, but I was even happier because I thought I could skip out on my sisters late birthday shindig because now that I had nothing to wear. Listen, I had already gotten her a gift, so I thought I’d be off the hook for the shoot. I was wrong!

As I was expressing to my sister my dilemma of not being able to find anything to wear, she kind of gave me the silent treatment. To this day, she will say she didn’t, but I could feel her cold shoulder through the phone. I bit the bullet for her! I methodically pinned the dress I bought to contour my body the way it was supposed to fit. I even dug an old dress out my closet that I bought and couldn’t fit two years ago. I tried it on and to my surprise, it fit. Won’t He do it! Go head and shout right now! LOL 💃🏾. I was starting to feel a little better. My sister even told me she had another dress I could wear too, so my issue was resolved.

The day of the photoshoot, I did my own hair and got my makeup done and I was off to the shoot. The first dress I put on was the one my sister brought me and I was feeling myself! It was a black blazer dress with gold buttons . It was really short for me, but I went along with it anyway. your girl was giving face, eyes and all that, I ate that! I was serving honey!

I then tried the black dress that I discovered in the back of my closet. You would have thought I was on top model the way I was giving 🥴 And my last outfit was the one I bought too big and pinned it to fit my new shave.

Disclaimer- What I’m about to say is not for everyone. I’m only sharing MY experence. I am not saying you are bad or going to hell for wearing trendy styles. I am saying for me, there are certain things I can not do.

After I got home and I posted the BTS of the shoot my spirit seemed a little grieved. The pics and videos taken were nice, but all I saw was the short and tight clothes I wore. I wanted to start a campaign called fully clothed and still killing it. But the Lord started speaking to me, asking “how are you going to be fully clothed and still killing it if you look like the world?” Girl it stopped me in my tracks! I felt like I had gotten and whoopin’ from our Father. To add insult to injury, after we got the photos back I did not see all the hard work I had put in at the gym. I just saw fat! I saw rolls, I saw double chins, I saw everything wrong with me! THAT made things ten times worse.

Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. Romans 14:16

What I interpreted from this whole event is, we all have influence that can be used to either glorify God or to blend in with the world. I for sure want all that I do to be pleasing to God. When people see me, I don’t want them to say, oh there’s Crystal, I want people to see God in me. How can they see God in me if I appear like the world? They can’t! There should be difference. The standard has been raised. The ordinary needs to be traded for the peculiar. Our speech, Our walk, our lives, everything about us should set us apart from the crowd. Our lights ought to shine so bright that people are curious about where it comes from.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

Secondly, why do I view myself so harshly? Why am I striving for perfection and why can’t I see who I am through the lens of God?

I understand I am not perfect, my body is not perfect but I am still ME! Fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God! That right there is enough! If I discount who I am, I am saying God has made a mistake with me. We all know that is a lie. If I continue to downplay and diminish myself, I will never fulfill God’s purpose for my life, because I am coming from a place of inferiority. He has called us for this time in history. Chin up girl, we are impactful, we are influential, we are strong, we are gifted, and we are His masterpiece, hand crafted by the Master!

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